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Raised by Moogles

I'll have a blue Christmas... or maybe I won't, idk.

I'll have a blue Christmas... or maybe I won't, idk.

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My second holiday season in the UK. Thanksgiving has come and gone, Christmas et. al. is coming, and I have this vague unsettled feeling that I should be homesick. But I’m just… not. I don’t really feel anything.

I mean, granted, I was never hugely into Thanksgiving. I thought it was kind of an unneccessary pre-Christmas-Christmas. And in recent years I’m either just so freaking burnt out on Christmas or I’m becoming cynical in my old age that the only thing I want to do with the holiday is use it as a chance to sleep in and play video games. But between being overseas and my dad’s family having basically fallen apart the past couple of years, it’s like, well, what’s wrong with me that I can barely remember past holidays and the bits&pieces I do remember don’t really affect me all that much? Am I headed for a breakdown and don’t know it yet? Am I doing the thing I learned to do in middle school where I just turned my feelings off? (Sounds like a great ability, right? IT ISN’T.)

I was reading something the other day about how someone else felt being an expatriate. About her experience of culture shock, and how she couldn’t feel like she was a part of the world she was living in. And I thought, “But I always feel like that. You mean that’s not normal?”

So, uh, I’m so broken that I’m actually coping really well. XD

(I am going to do card exchange this year. That part of the holidays I do miss. I'll do the 'address exchange post' in a bit, when my pie's in the oven.)
  • “But I always feel like that. You mean that’s not normal?”

    It's normal for you. Her culture shock is normal for her. Everyone has different responses to events, and that's fine. Your feelings are entirely valid. *hugs*
  • My sister is like you - she has the ability to be 'at home' wherever she is. Which was good, because she married an Air Force guy and they moved every 3-5 years while he was in the military. I stress when I travel. It doesn't matter how much I want to go, I stress. I hate being away from my comfort zones. I hate moving. I like to stay in one place. So, I think your response to being an expat is a perfectly valid one. As seryan said, it's normal for you.
  • *snugs*
  • Hm, well, I hope it's the coping going on and not broken numbness? *hugs*
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