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Raised by Moogles

I'll have a blue Christmas... or maybe I won't, idk.

I'll have a blue Christmas... or maybe I won't, idk.

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My second holiday season in the UK. Thanksgiving has come and gone, Christmas et. al. is coming, and I have this vague unsettled feeling that I should be homesick. But I’m just… not. I don’t really feel anything.

I mean, granted, I was never hugely into Thanksgiving. I thought it was kind of an unneccessary pre-Christmas-Christmas. And in recent years I’m either just so freaking burnt out on Christmas or I’m becoming cynical in my old age that the only thing I want to do with the holiday is use it as a chance to sleep in and play video games. But between being overseas and my dad’s family having basically fallen apart the past couple of years, it’s like, well, what’s wrong with me that I can barely remember past holidays and the bits&pieces I do remember don’t really affect me all that much? Am I headed for a breakdown and don’t know it yet? Am I doing the thing I learned to do in middle school where I just turned my feelings off? (Sounds like a great ability, right? IT ISN’T.)

I was reading something the other day about how someone else felt being an expatriate. About her experience of culture shock, and how she couldn’t feel like she was a part of the world she was living in. And I thought, “But I always feel like that. You mean that’s not normal?”

So, uh, I’m so broken that I’m actually coping really well. XD

(I am going to do card exchange this year. That part of the holidays I do miss. I'll do the 'address exchange post' in a bit, when my pie's in the oven.)
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